Summer is slipping away. The hazy summer heat lifts during subtle moments- early mornings and when the evenings begin to break. I sit in my backyard while the sun disappears over the roof of my house, leaving the sky a pink hue. I have too much time to think, too much time to notice.
It is not new information that I have been spending most of my time alone. It is not new information that one connects deeper with themselves when they do so. What is new to me is the shallowness in the connections I see around me. I watch people who supposedly love each other fail to say thank you when they provide acts of service for the other. I watch people who supposedly love each other ignore when the other could use someone checking in on them. I watch people who supposedly love each other not share laughs together. What is love if not wishing each minute together had more seconds?
Some people simply exist next to each other. The importance is not necessarily dependent on who is next to them. I notice some people have partners to have a body next to them, not to enjoy them.
I have less than these people, but pity pangs in my chest.
I sit here during one of those subtle moments when the heat has lifted, the pink sky has now turned to dusk, and I realize why. I realize why someone would prefer a shallow distraction versus spending time alone. I have fought this battle myself. It’s not always easy looking in the mirror.
your brain > 🤍