Last weekend, I was the sole witness of my brother proposing to his girlfriend, now fiancée. It felt like the highest honor to be invited, let behind the curtains into a special moment in their lives, to observe and capture it.
This event has me thinking.
I am more often an observer of love rather than an “experiencer” of it. My moments in love are few and far between. And when I look back, I doubt it was even love at all. I say this without the intention of receiving sympathy, as it is not something I feel badly about.
While seeming to be a never-ending observer of love, I have managed to not resent it. But I understand why others do. Most people resent things that are before their eyes but escape their grasp.
For me, to view love is to be reassured that it exists.
I have always been okay with this situation of mine. For some reason, I have never craved being in relationships unprovoked. Rather, I find someone who makes me want to be in a relationship with them specifically. I don’t come across those types of people often. Because it's just an inherent part of me, I have made peace with it.
Reassurances that love exists have seemed to be less frequent in present times, so last weekend was a beautiful reminder.
For fellow observers of love- use the acts and displays before you as reassurances, not as moments to resent.