I turn 26 tomorrow. 26 is nothing special to me. 26 is the year after a quarter-century, the year after your brain’s prefrontal cortex fully develops (supposedly), and you gain sudden clarity. As my birthday aligns nearly perfectly with the end of the year, I always feel retrospective. Today I’m looking back at 25, the clarity I gained, the confusion that took its place shortly after, and all the small things I’m grateful for.
things that defined 25
Had my birthday dinner at a tiny cafe in Paris drinking red wine and thinking the waiter hated us- he didn’t, it was just our first night in Paris and we didn’t know anything
Rang in 2023 sitting along the Seine watching fireworks over the Eiffel Tower. The next morning was grey and quiet
Spent the whole year as a brunette
Made my favorite recipe of my grandma’s with her
Began writing my first book
Started enjoying dry, red wines
Watched old French films claiming it would help me learn French (I just wanted to be pretentious)
Took publishing on my Substack more seriously
Watched my cousins become parents
Tried new recipes, cooked for people I love
Went to the Crying in H Mart book tour and told Michelle Zauner she inspired me to write my own book
The mailman hit my parked car, and I was the one who had to pay for it
Spent most weekends home alone, ordering Chinese food
Watched a lot of Anthony Bourdain and thought of my mom
Got laid off from my job
Ate dim sum after getting laid off from my job
Read Giovanni’s Room and it changed my life
Made a lot of progress on my book and then hit a wall
Binge-listened to folklore all summer long
Visited the Philadelphia Museum of Art alone just to feel something
Watched sunsets
Sat under a Banyan tree and contemplated life
Daydreamed
Drank too much wine, told myself I would never drink again
Cried
Burned palo santo every time I felt stressed (every day)
Spent time with my family and cried when I had to leave
Saw a lot of blue jays
Was the sole witness to my brother’s proposal to his girlfriend
Drank too many martinis, told myself I would never drink again
Every time I thought the world was ending, I was proven wrong.
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Thank you for being here and reading my random anecdotes, musings, complaints, delusions, etc. It is always funny to think about the fact that so many people here do not know me, but know what goes on in the deepest corners of my mind. It has been fun sharing with you during 25.
xx B